The Dance of Light & Shadow
Did you know Meta Business Suite has a feature that reminds you how many days it has been since you’ve posted?
“You haven’t shared a post in 7 days. Posting regularly helps you connect with your audience.”
Right. I know that…You HAVE to be consistent or the algorithm will no push your reels.
“You haven’t shared a post in 14 days. Posting regularly helps you connect with your audience.”
That’s okay. People take breaks all the time. I’ve got a lot going on right now, I’m making big changes. Besides, if I’m going to take a small break I better wait until I can be consistent or the algorithm will really punish you.
“You haven’t shared a post in 203 days. Posting regularly helps you connect with your audience.”
Well sh*t.
.
.
.
The last 203 days are hard to summarize. I spent a great deal of that time at war with forces internal and external. With resistance, with fatigue, with illness and with things that were simply beyond my control. A war of light and shadow was waged in my life as I took the plunge, quit my current job and took on a new part time position to allow me more time to pursue my art.
“Everything will work out when I have more time to make art”
And as soon as my schedule was cleared for the forest I found myself doing everything but weaving my trees. Why?
Why couldn’t I weave trees? This was all I ever wanted and why am I stalling out?
No, no, no, no, no!
Without the need for pre-market all nighters and the “hammer” over my head, all the sudden I struggled to do the thing that I love. Not to mention feeling overwhelmed and ashamed at how bad I was (am hahaha) at the business side of things. I had finally taken the leap and what if I was going to fall flat on my face?
Here is the Shadow, Ego, Pride.
I’m embarrassed to say I don’t have it all figured out, (I just have better help and actually accept it now.) I struggle with imposter syndrome on the daily, and I often can’t shake the feeling that I’ve just gotten lucky and this whole think is going to come crashing down. But I know I’m not alone, none of us have “it” figured out. The more I let the façade crack and share how I’m feeling, the more I have heard other small business owners and crafters come forward to express how overwhelming and stressful it is to be a business owner! And to think I almost let that get the best of me; I almost let that steal the joy of what I do!
The process of weaving has always been so relaxing and joyful to me. People often say to me, “the trees look like a lot of work!” Nope, not to me!! The trees are my way of weaving emotion out of my mind and soul, off my fingertips and onto the branches. And I almost lost sight of that. Henika Patel, an amazing mentor and writer of Sensual writes, “Tap into the joy of your senses” and I have that quote on a sticky note in my tree office to remind me never to lose sight of what brings me joy. It brings me such pleasure to weave a tree trunk onto a gorgeous crystal; to pick crystal beads as a palette for the canopy and watch the tree grow as branches are looped and formed. I get to take a natural formation from the earth and put my spin on it. I’m so freaking lucky!
So here’s to the humans just working to figure it out on a daily basis. Fighting thoughts of “They can see that I’m not good enough too.” You are not alone! The older I get the more I have started to realized that most people are just fighting for their own damn life to realize how much the rest of us are struggling. It is okay to honour your faults and imperfections. They make us human and add authenticity to our work.
I’ve made a ton of mistakes in the last 203 days. But the biggest one was letting the shadow win.
We all have a light and shadow within us. Embracing it is what helps us learn and grow!
And boy did I grow too
There are exciting things growing in the Forever Forest.
I can’t wait to share them with you soon!