The Always and Forever Loyal Tree
Phoenix contacted in the fall of 2024 me wanting a few trees for his chosen family for Christmas, no biggie, I have helped with these sorts of gifts before. But the conversation and creation that followed wrenched my heart out…
I learned that Phoenix was experiencing some medical issues that would eventually take his life… This last Forever Forest, inspired by his love for his chosen family and the vision he had for them would be the last set of gifts he would ever get them. He wanted something that would last and that would say everything he wouldn’t be able to say moving forward. We spent hours over messenger, slaving over details- deciding on colour palettes, wire choices- everything. I have never worked with an individual who has spent so much energy and love on their trees. To make sure each detail was perfect, down to each wire and stone chosen. Phoenix shared that due to his medical condition, his mobility was severly impacted, but that he was an artist in days past. He saw and described people in colours, same as me! So he had a whole colour system created for each person, and meaning for each colour and stone chosen. There was intention and love behind every choice, no wire or weaving done without care and impact. This Forever Forest was more than just a gift, it was woven with every bit of love, thought, memory and intention for the lives he wanted his family to have after he was gone. The heaviness of what I was asked to do was difficult, I was terrified to get it wrong. Especially for another artist, stripped of his ability to use his hands….what if Phoenix’s vision did not come to life in the trees I created?
We forged ahead, creating one large tree for a very, very special family member, a Christmas tree ornament for another and two additional key chains, all woven together with colour, wire and love. The outcome was perfect and Phoenix even wrote a special note to be included with each tree for each person just in case he was not able to be there in person. Fortunately, Phoenix’s health held up to see his Forever Forest created, delivered and opened in person. He was so happy with the result and I exhaled my biggest sigh of relief since checking my national Physio exam results over a decade ago.
After the forest was delivered, I typically don’t have much contact with people who commission trees…but Phoenix and I kept talking, about all sorts of things, God, the universe, life after death….He was a really special person dealt a really rough hand. I learned more about his story, his health and why his chosen family came to be so important to him. I have never done this before, but with Phoenix, it felt weird not to have him contribute to the little “blurb” I write for social media, since he was so much more involved in the creation of the trees than is typical. Of course he came to bat with that too, here’s a little bit from Phoenix himself:
“Trees have always been a very symbolic thing for me because of my culture, I have a strong connection with nature and how all things have an essence and a life and are connected. That needs to be respected. My favourite by far, however, are trees which strike me as the strongest, most multifaced thing in nature. So when I asked this to be made for me, it was not just because Bri’s Trees are gorgeous, but also to represent the most strongest and crucial relationship in my life, my only earthly root. See, I’ve been very sick as of late, and I wanted him to remember how much I value him and how much me means…”
“Because his stability and love is like that of a tree who’s leaves change carbon dioxide to oxygen very slowly over time, filtering the air and making a home for some creatures that naturally people do not want or sometimes understand. And as a tree does the nutrients of his love and acceptance as a person and as a human. And as family grew and changed and edify me into something I never thought I could be. I am grateful to him. He is the first person in my life to ground me, accept me, love me consistently. I was born into a family, nurturing love like most, so its a miracle to me and it makes me want to stay under the safety of his branches.”
“so even when he can no longer see the roots or the impact on me, my love, or my gratitude for the person he is helping me become. He will be able to look at this beautiful, symbolic but true to my life, enchanted, miracle forest of joy. Unspoken, and roots that will soon be concealed, but not forgotten underneath the surface.”
“Thank you to help me put a little bit of a reminder of those roots and my love behind, I will forever be loyal to those roots, I love loyalty and family, even when they can no longer be seen. Because [the tree] will remind him of the roots. And love, it still thrives, unseen. And thats the story and the magic behind the Always and Forever Loyal Tree. Thank you to Bri’s Trees for helping me leave behind a symbolic piece and reminder of me, Phoenix”
A few months later, it came time to say good bye to Phoenix. I don’t think I will ever be the same.
And its been months since we said good bye. Phoenix’s story still lives rent free in my head. All customs are a joy to create, but this one really weaved its way into my heart and soul. The time I got to weave on behalf of another artist’s hands, one last creation before he stepped past the threshold between this life and what lies beyond. I still think about the Always and Forever Loyal Tree, how difficult it was. How much pressure I felt to “get it right”. How weird it felt to let another artist co-create with me with that intensity, how grateful I am that I did.
The coolest thing about Phoenix’s tree, in the end. Was how much it truly was a reflection of him, even down to the filming process. I photograph my trees spinning to capture the motion and movement in them. However, Phoenix’s tree just wouldn’t capture, I couldn’t understand why. Then I stopped the tree spinning and started moving around the tree, the shot was perfect. I remembered with a smile that because of Phoenix’s mobility, he was in a wheelchair, hence the Turtle….Some how we captured Phoenix’s essence in that tree, even down to the motion. The tree needed to be still and I needed to move around the tree to capture it properly. The second I did that, the tree came to life- totally different that any other tree I’ve created.
Wherever you are now Phoenix. Thank YOU for all you taught me.